Fancy Nancy

Kaylee loves loves loves Fancy Nancy, so we are going to have a Fancy Nancy birthday party for her. Here's the invitation I made for her.

Homecoming 2009

This past weekend was really hard for me. Hard...meaning...emotional. Justin, my oldest went on his first date and dance.  He went with a very cute, sweet and modest girl.  Her name is Kaitlyn, she's 16 1/2 as well and it was her first date and dance too.

Justin was suppose to pick her up and then come back to our house so I could get pictures of them, but he says he "forgot" so I had to get this off Kaitlyn's facebook wall.  At least I have this one picture!!  Aren't they cute together!!

Having my oldest go out on a date and a dance made me feel OLD.  OMGoodness, I have a child old enough to go on a date.  I'm so glad he didn't do this when he first turned 16!!  At least he waited until he was almost 17 :-)

Justin wasn't sure he wanted to go to Homecoming at first.  But he's liked Kaitlyn for a couple of years.  They've been texting each other off and all during those two or three years and he knew how much he liked her so he finally told me that he was going to ask Kaitlyn to the dance. 

Justin got a teddy bear and some gummie bears and wrote a note that said "I couldn't "bear" going to homecoming without you.  Will you be my date?" or something close to that.  On Saturday he drove it to where she worked and had Preston run it into her.  He waited and waited and waited to hear back from her.  He was too scared to text her because he didn't know what she was going to say.

Monday was a holiday which meant no school and he still hadn't heard anything and he was beginning to get worried.  He got even more worried when he read a post she had put on facebook about not being able to find a modest homecoming dress.  Justin thought for sure he had waited too long to ask and now she was going with someone else. 

During our family night the door bell rang.  Of course all the younger kids run to the door and open it.  There stood a Sheriff.  He asked for Justin.  Justin went to the door where he saw that it was the same Sheriff that had pulled him over a few times on the dirtbirk.  The sheriff asked Justin if he drove a black Toyota Tacoma.  Justin said yes and at that point the Sheriff asked him to step outside. 

Once outside the Sheriff explained to Justin that his truck had been reported for reckless driving.  He asked Justin a few questions and then said "Before we go any further I need to read you your rights."  Justin's face dropped, it almost looked like he was going to pass out.  "You have the right to remain silent.  You have the right to take Kaitlyn to the dance".  Of course Justin didn't hear that at first.  He was in too big of a shock that he was being arrested.  It was Kaitlyn's way of responding with a YES to his request for her to go to homecoming with him.  She got him REALLY good.

For their day date their "group" went to Fat Cats which is a bowling alley.  They had lots of fun.  They took the girls home to get ready and then they all met and went to Teppanyaki for dinner then over to the dance.  After the dance the group came over to watch a movie in our backyard.  It was FUN for them....but for me............

I sat and worried the whole time wondering if I had done my job.  Did I raise him right?  Did I teach him how to treat a girl with respect?  Did I teach him how to be a gentlemen?  Did he hold her door open?  Did he help her into and out of the car?  Did he pay attention to her?  Was he rude?  Did her burp at the table?  Did he dance with her or did he just stand around?  Did he compliment her?  Did she see him as a good kid?

It's now been three days and I'm still worried about it.  I guess I'll never really know because I wasn't there.  I've hopefully done my job though.  I wonder if I will ever stop worrying about this kind of thing?

Never too old to learn

I've really been struggling this past month. I'm usually able to push through things and not let them affect me but I think the saying "The straw that broke the camels back" came true in my case. It was just too many things all at once and it broke me down and threw me into a depression.

While feeling low and silently needing help to pull me out of this, I realized that instead of people coming closer and trying to help, they kept their distance. They avoided being around me and including me on things. This of course made things worse for me and made me feel even more alone.

I finally hit my lowest point and cried for hours. After I was done crying I got on my knees and prayed. I prayed for help, for understanding of what I've been going through and for peace. I was blessed with those things for which I'm grateful to my Heavenly Father for.

I've realized now that I might have had to go through so many trials in such a short time so I could learn a few things. Those things are 1) My Heavenly Father truly loves me and that if I turn to him he'll be there for me to comfort me (not that I didn't already know this but it's funny how fast you can forget) 2) I will always keep my eye out for those that might be down and make sure to be there for them. I feel that I do this now, but I plan to try harder to find people that need help. 3) I do have some great friends that really do care and do try hard to cheer me up, even when their lives are crazy too (julie)!!! I love you

French Braid

So I was never taught how to french braid and sure didn't ever french braid my own hair so now that I have a little girl I've been waiting and waiting until the time came that I could french braid her hair. Well it finally happened about two weeks ago. It's not great but I did it. I hope to get better with practice.

Need Help

Ok all my Utah friends. I know nothing about Utah, at least nothing fun. Kimball and I are in charge of the family reunion (gathering) next Summer. We can plan for 3 to 6 days of time and I have no idea what to do and where to go.

We have always gone up to Kimball's aunt and uncles cabin for a couple days and hang out at Bear Lake. The problem is we currently have around 27 people and the cabin is ONE BEDROOM and ONE BATH with the smallest hot water heater ever. Anyhow we've outgrown it.

Do you have any ideas on what we can do? Where we can go? Please hit me with all your ideas and the details for it.

Thanks!!!

Mother's Day

I LOVE being a mom. My kids might drive me crazy and at times I want to just get away from them but I truly love my kids. They bring me so much joy.

My kids have always written me some fun notes at different times during their lives but this year I got one that truly brought tears to my eyes. THIS card, I'll keep forever.

It says:

Mom,
There are so many things in this world that we have, but don't need. But one thing I will always need is you. You are the best mom ever. I think I could live without food more than I could live without you as my mom. You are such a giving person. There are no words to describe how good you are to me. I want you to know that I love you so much and don't want to lose you.
Love Josh

How sweet is that! I feel so loved.

Baking Bread

I love baking bread. I try new recipes all the time because I'm trying to find the "perfect" loaf. I've found good ones but I don't know that I've found "the perfect" one yet. I'll keep trying until I do. I'm also trying to find the best roll and bread stick recipe. If you have any, please send them my way. :)

Getting recipes isn't my main reason for this post...it's about SLICING homemade bread. I hate the mess my kids make when slicing themselves off a piece. I hate that it's awkward to use homemade bread for sandwiches because the bread slices are different sizes. Please Please tell me there is a better way to handle the slicing of the bread. How do you do it? Please Please share cause all the crumbs on my kitchen floor is causing me to not want to bake bread ever again.

Love Homemade Bread....Hate the mess!!

Fake People

People can say many things about me but one thing that NO ONE could ever say about me is that I'm fake.

I hate fake people!!!!

I don't think I can express this loud enough. I have tried to not let it bother me when I see someone being fake but at home, in my own quiet time, it starts bothering me...eating at me.

I've had long talks with Kimball about this topic. Why does "other people" being fake bother me so much? It's because people fall for fakeness. I know that everyone wants to believe that they don't and that they can see through fakeness but I'm here to tell you that most people fall for it. Again, why does this bother me? Because fake people have hurt me. Fake people fool people into thinking they are so great and so believable yet all they do is spread lies. Lies that everyone believes because these fake people have the wool pulled over everyones eyes. They slander people, spread lies about people yet they put on this innocent face and people over look what that person was doing and believe they are "So Sweet" or "One of the nicest people I know" or "So Spiritual". What a crock.

The one good thing about being around fake people is that it helps you appreciate those that are genuine and those that truly are "Sweet", "Nice" and "Spiritual"... People I admire and hope to be like someday. There are two people that I truly wish to be more like. One is Kathy Fitch. I use to Visit Teach her around 9 years ago. She was/is amazing. I've heard that she is now serving a mission with her husband. The way she was with her kids was perfect and she was such a great mom. You could actually see with your eyes the love that those teenage kids had for their mom. It was so great to watch. She had a great relationship with her kids and I've always wanted to have that same thing with my kids. I try but I'm far from where she was. The other is my sister-in-law Leah. We are two VERY different people but I still admire her in many ways. She has an amazing testimony that is shown in most of the things she does. She is so good at expressing it. She can adequately write and describe what is on her mind...something I'm sooooooo not good at. But I still try.

Anyhow...this post was a bunch of rambling so I'll end it. I just want to make sure that I remind myself that I will NOT be fake and I will continue to be a better person. And to remember that "fakeness" usually hurts someone.

Camp Smile

Last night was our Girls Camp Kick-off Fireside. Our theme this year is "Camp Smile" and I just love the theme. I think it's perfect being that our General Young Women's Presidency gave the girls and their leaders a challenge to do three things daily:

1) Pray morning and night
2) Read the Book of Mormon for at least 5 minutes
3) Smile

Why Smile? Because we have the restored gospel of Jesus Christ, which brings us true happiness.

Now yes...I am excited about the theme but I truly think I would be excited about any theme they used because I'm more excited about the fact that I get to go this year. I can't wait to be with the girls and the leaders and to feel their sweet spirits and to bond with all of them in a loving and spiritual way. It's going to be great.

The picture above is of the cookies "pops" that I made for the fireside, they were cute.

Christmas and Gift Giving

I've been trying to clean out my GroupWise for the last week because I spent months not using it and when I turned it back on it downloaded old and new messages. Anyhow, a message that I found in the mess was an email that had come in, in the middle of January but I hadn't seen it until tonight. This email was from a family member thanking me for the Christmas gifts and to explain why their family doesn't do extended family gift giving. It's two and a half months late but I did respond to her.

After sending her the email I thought it would be good to post a little about Our family's beliefs on gift giving during the holidays because I've had many people question and comment on how we do Christmas. I know I could hold off and post this closer to Christmas this year BUT I'm so bad at posting anyway that if I wait, I'll forget so here it is, nine months early :-)

Also to make it easier...I'm going to just paste what I wrote her so you'll be reading a response so it's a little different then if I had written it just for a post. (did that make sense???)

Please know that NO ONE in our family feels obligated to send you guys or anyone else Christmas gifts. Our family is different and we handle Christmas and other holiday's different then many others. Kimball and I don't exchange Christmas gifts because we find for us that we want to take the money to spread the joy and enjoy the true spirit of Christmas and give. We have taught our kids from birth that we don't do the "I want for Christmas", instead they have been taught to say and say "I think ............ would enjoy this" We have tried very hard, even though it's difficult with the world saying differently, to get our kids to see and feel the true meaning of Christmas. Giving is much better than receiving.

Christmas has become something that it shouldn't by many people. They make it about what they want and use Christmas as an excuse to get things they want or think they need. People use Christmas as a way to justify spending "more" or "extra" on items.

This is also another reason we started the "experience" Christmas'. No gifts for the kids at all. We still have fun gifting to other people but we give no gifts to the kids. We go on a trip as a family. We spend time with each other and connect. These are the best Christmas' because there isn't any thoughts about buying gifts for the kids. We truly feel the spirit of Christmas as we buy for others but nothing for us is under the Christmas tree.

On the years that we stay home we don't fall into the trap of buying tons of gifts for each child. Kimball and I observe our children and we buy two or three gifts max that we feel will benefit the child. Again during these years that we are at home the kids are not to tell use what they want for Christmas. This has created such a peace around the season.

So please know, that there are no hard feelings because we don't give gifts to get a gift in return. We give to bring joy to others. This is how we choose to keep the true meaning of Christmas alive in our home. Please Please don't ever think that we expect you to do the same or to view Christmas the way we do.


I want to add that I'm just naturally a gift giver. I love giving gifts. I love doing for others. It gives me great joy. This isn't just gifts of physical things, I love to give of my time and of my service. I have so many weaknesses and I lack in so many areas in my life but I do have charity on my side and I don't want anyone to ever feel guilty about me doing something for them because I'm also doing it for myself. :-)

Sleep

Most people that know me, know that I don't sleep. I get 2 - 4 hours a night for the nights I even go to bed because there are many nights I don't even go to bed at all.

I get lectured about this all the time. Kimball is always on me with his concern about my health. I have friends tell me the that I need to take care of myself. My boys just shake their heads at me because they can't even understand. But I usually just smile and brush it all off.

Well, I'm going to start using a personal trainer starting tonight and I've done some reading and everything says that the body needs at least 7 hours of sleep to "allow" it to respond to exercise and to weight loss. Soooo I've been trying the last week to get more sleep.

Can I just say..........WHAT A JOKE!!!!

I'm more tired than I've ever been. My body hurts. I set the alarm and I sleep right through it and it's next to impossible to get myself out of bed. Really, it's next to impossible. The alarm is set for 5 and I DRAG myself out of bed at close to TEN. Yes you read that right 10. And what's worse, I've put on 4 pounds during this week of getting sleep.

Now I understand how people can complain about being tired. It's because they are sleeping too much?? Is that possible? To sleep so much that it makes you even more tired? What really is the perfect amount of sleep? Does everyone wake up feeling like crap?

I'm trying to decide if I should continue giving "sleep" a chance or if I should stick to my few hours a night routine??

Will you please?

I was sent an email this morning about the Red Envelope Day. You can read about it here: RedEnvelopeDay.com

I plan to do this and maybe, just maybe we can be heard.

"Normal"

It appears that I am a "normal" mom after all because us "normal" moms:

Give our kids chores.
Teaches our kids how to cook and actually make them do it.
Have our kids learn to do laundry and then have them help with it.
We don't always make a home cooked breakfast for the family.
Sometimes we give cereal for dinner.
Sometimes we don't cook at all.
We often sit doing our own thing while our kids do chores all around us.

Us "normal" moms also know that it's so much more work having our kids do chores but we also know that it's teaching them a valuable lesson so we give them those chores anyway.

Thanks to my sweet family and friends for helping me see how NORMAL I am.

An Emotional Beating

It's 2pm and I'm still crying..haven't really stopped since last night after dinner. One of my boys came to apologize to me for thoughts he's had about me!

He said "I've been thinking that I shouldn't have the thoughts I have about you. It's really not your fault that you can't be a normal mom. Normal moms don't expect their kids to do so many chores. "

"What? I'm confused sweetie, what do you mean normal?"

"Well, you work from home and you can't do what a mom is suppose to do."

"Help me understand here."

"I'm sure that if you didn't work at home you would do what normal moms do and not expect their kids to do all the work. You would cook and do the cleaning."

"I cook all the time, I don't get what you're saying. I clean all the time too so again I just don't understand."

"Well *******'s mom doesn't work so she gets up and makes a good breakfast for them, she makes his lunch and they always have dinner sitting on the table at a certain time each night."

*************************************

It only got worse.

I heard Kimball telling this child that he shouldn't have said any of those things because I'm always hard enough on myself. This child just doesn't understand why it would bother me, he was simply telling me that he understands and is going to be more "understanding" and not think the things he usually things about me because it's not my fault that I can't be a NORMAL mom.

************************************

This morning I called *******'s mom because we are friends and I asked her if her son had chores. NOPE, he doesn't. He just has to keep his bedroom clean. CRAP, that sure doesn't help my case.

During the summers I never make breakfast but during the school year I use to always get up and make the kids breakfast. This school year was different. I got right back into the same groove of getting up and making them breakfast as I always have but the boy started to complain about it. They told me how they just want cereal. That homemade breakfast makes them sick. So I stopped making it.

Preston and William eat school lunches and Justin, Joshua and Collin all have to bring or buy their lunch. They don't like sandwiches. I've tried. So I buy things that they can take. Microwave type meals that they can heat up at the school. They often forget to take something...I guess this is my fault. I should be putting an actual lunch together for them. Like a "normal" mom. Let's not forget that I use to do that but they complained about what I made.

I always cook dinner. Yes, sometimes I assign a kid to do it cause I don't want to and because I feel they need to learn this skill. And on nights that Kimball and I go out I tell them that it's a YoYo night which means "Your on Your own". That means they can have cup of noodles, cereal, frozen meal, left-overs or Justin can go pick up pizza but I don't plan anything and I'm not there to oversee any of it. I guess a "normal" mom wouldn't have YoYo dinners.

As for cleaning, I feel like I'm always cleaning. I spend at least an hour or two every single morning pick up and cleaning the messes the boys made getting ready for school. I do the laundry (unless I make the mistake of giving it as a ground to one of them).

A "normal" mom doesn't work. What? Where does he get this? Most of his friends mom's don't work, but give me a flippin break, I try to NEVER work when my kids are home. I do my work in the middle of the night to avoid taking away from them. But even if I did work during the day, I'm here for them. If they need something, I'm here.

I'm hard on myself, I don't need any help at knowing that I need to improve on many things. I always think I can do a better job at cleaning, at organizing, at spending more time with each of my kids, at my calling, at being a wife. I actually can't sleep at nights because when I lay down I think of all the things that I could be getting done instead of laying there wasting time sleeping.

My poor son has no idea how bad he's made me feel. He thinks he's being "understanding". For me, I'm destroyed to realize that my kids look at me and see me as lazy.

So I'm left not knowing where to go from here. Do I not give my kids chores? Should they only be in charge of keeping their rooms clean? Will this magically get them to keep their rooms clean?

I can't get myself to stop wondering if my kids think that I love them less because I'm not "normal". Do "normal" moms love their kids more? I know that I love my kids more than I can even express in words, they mean everything to me, but maybe, just maybe they think otherwise.

So what makes me different from a "normal" mom? Do I get rid of chores altogether? Do I start making breakfast in the morning even though they complain? Do I pack their lunches and just smile when they complain about what I made? Do I never have a YoYo dinner night? How do I teach my kids responsibility? How do I make sure that my sons know how to do things before leaving for their Missions? Do "normal" moms not care? So many questions and I don't know how to find the answers. Is praying going to make me "normal"? I know I'm the same I was before I started working at home. I'm the same person. I do the same things (besides staying up all night). I gave chores BEFORE I started working for myself. So have I never been "normal"?

This post probably makes no sense and it probably has a ton of rambling and I'm not going to go back and check. Sorry!! Maybe if I was "normal" I would, but I'm not "normal" I just needed to get it all out. Maybe when I can get myself to be "normal" I'll look back at this post fondly. NOT.

Anyone Interested?

Just for fun...(I got this idea from my sister-in-law...she posted it a couple of weeks ago on her blog)

The first five people to respond to this post will get something made by me! My choice. For you.

This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:

1. I make no guarantees that you will like what I make!

2. What I create will be just for you.

3. It'll be done this year (hopefully sooner than later, but there are still 9 months to the year!!)

4. You will have no clue what it is going to be.

5. I reserve the right to do something extremely strange. :)

You can re-post this on your blog if you wish to spread the joy. The first 5 people to do so and leave a comment telling me you did, will win a FAB-U-LOUS homemade gift by me!

PS- if I don't have your home address (or if you aren't sure if I do or not) just leave me your email address and I will email you to get it!

Sheets

I truly hate folding sheets because I can't ever get them to look good. My pillow cases look great, at times I even iron them up nice and pretty. The flat sheet looks good and is always folded neatly and it's usually pretty uniform in shape but oh my goodness, that dang fitted sheet. No matter how hard I try, the fitted sheet always looks like a wadded up mess. Why can't I get the fitted sheet to fold and look pretty?

Does anyone have a tip or trick on how to do this properly? I'm a grown woman and you'd think I'd be able to fold something and it not look like my three year old did it.

Giving up Chocolate

A friend of mine sent this to me by email and I really had to share :-)


Giving Up Chocolate

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly
dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of
dollars for dinner.

I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, 'If I give you
this money, will you buy chocolate with it instead of dinner?'

'No, I had to stop eating chocolate years ago', the homeless woman told me.

'Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?' I asked.

'No, I don't waste time shopping,' the homeless woman said. 'I need to
spend all my time trying to stay alive.'

'Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?' I asked.

'Are you NUTS!' replied the homeless woman. I haven't had my hair done
in 20 years!'

'Well, I said, 'I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm
going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight.'

The homeless Woman was shocked. 'Won't your husband be furious with
you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty
disgusting.'

I said, 'That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks
like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and
chocolate.'


I just know you're laughing!

Disturbing Phone Call

Yesterday I got a really disturbing phone call from my brothers wife. She asked me "Are you ok Lora?" and of course I said that I was doing just fine, WHY? She went on to tell me that she had a dream about me and it's been bothering her. The dream seemed so real and that she's so "unsettled" by it.

So I open my big mouth and ask her "What was it about". I shouldn't have asked!!! She tell me that she's sure that it's something that I wouldn't want to hear. It's now got me really intrigued on what it could be and tell her "just tell me already".

"You weren't feeling well and hadn't been sleeping well lately so you laid down to get some sleep and well, you died in your sleep."

So, I've been fighting a migraine all week.
I haven't been sleeping a whole lot lately.
Should I not go to sleep?

Do you believe in dreams? Do you think I should be afraid to go to sleep? Should she of even called and told me about that dream?

When I got off the phone from her I was a little disturbed with random thoughts and a little bit of panic running through my veins. What if I did die? I mean, I know that we all die but what if it happens SOON? Am I living my life in such a way that I will make it to the celestial kingdom? Do my kids know what they mean to me? Does my husband know that I love him with every fiber of my being and that I wouldn't want to be with anyone else in this world? Is my house in order? Am I doing all that has been asked of me by my Heavenly Father? Reading? Praying? Service? Calling?

I don't want to give what she said too much weight to the point of me walking on eggshells or causing me not to sleep because I'm afraid.......BUT!!!

For tonight, I'm going to bed...earlier than I usually do. I'll be in bed by 12am. :-) If I should fall asleep and never wake again..........Know That I LOVE You ALL.

Winter Blues?

I've always considered myself to be a very Optimistic person. Even when my "thoughts" might try to doubt something, my "words" always express complete optimism. I have always had the belief that if you have positive thoughts, positive results will follow.

When I do feel down I always sing the song "Count Your Blessings" in my head to quickly switch my train of thoughts to more positive and happy ones.

So with all this optimism and "happy" thoughts, why am I so down? All the "normal" things I do to "cheer" myself up just isn't working. No matter how hard I try to be happy, I just want to sit and cry. I'm in a pity party. Feeling as if the whole world is against me. Feeling lonely. What am I doing wrong? Is it just winter blues? How do I make these feeling go away? I hate this feeling. I want to be happy.

Any suggestions on how to pull myself out of this? Will a certain food help? A vitamin? A drug? Something? Anything?

Update

I've been stuck in this pit, thinking that I shouldn't blog until I have time to do a complete update and to blog about all the things I've wanted to blog about...Cookie Exchange, Christmas with the Family, Christmas at Disneyland, Williams Birthday, Julie's bridal showers, Julie's lingerie party, Dave and Julie's Wedding, William's response to Dave and Julie's wedding, My weight loss struggles, Dave and Julie's Reception, Our MANY trips to the hospital in the last month and a half, Bachelor Night with the girls, hiring Jorgen to do graphic and programming work for us, hiring Julie to do Help Desk work for us, Justin starting driving school, My feelings on him turning 16 next week, the little, everyday miracles that keep happening all around our home, and of course the list goes on and on.

The problem with waiting until I have time to blog about all the back stuff is that while waiting I get more things to blog about. :-) So maybe I'll give an update and maybe I won't but I think I'll just post my thoughts as they come and not wait until I'm caught up!!! With that said, I'm going to bed. LOL