Christmas and Gift Giving

I've been trying to clean out my GroupWise for the last week because I spent months not using it and when I turned it back on it downloaded old and new messages. Anyhow, a message that I found in the mess was an email that had come in, in the middle of January but I hadn't seen it until tonight. This email was from a family member thanking me for the Christmas gifts and to explain why their family doesn't do extended family gift giving. It's two and a half months late but I did respond to her.

After sending her the email I thought it would be good to post a little about Our family's beliefs on gift giving during the holidays because I've had many people question and comment on how we do Christmas. I know I could hold off and post this closer to Christmas this year BUT I'm so bad at posting anyway that if I wait, I'll forget so here it is, nine months early :-)

Also to make it easier...I'm going to just paste what I wrote her so you'll be reading a response so it's a little different then if I had written it just for a post. (did that make sense???)

Please know that NO ONE in our family feels obligated to send you guys or anyone else Christmas gifts. Our family is different and we handle Christmas and other holiday's different then many others. Kimball and I don't exchange Christmas gifts because we find for us that we want to take the money to spread the joy and enjoy the true spirit of Christmas and give. We have taught our kids from birth that we don't do the "I want for Christmas", instead they have been taught to say and say "I think ............ would enjoy this" We have tried very hard, even though it's difficult with the world saying differently, to get our kids to see and feel the true meaning of Christmas. Giving is much better than receiving.

Christmas has become something that it shouldn't by many people. They make it about what they want and use Christmas as an excuse to get things they want or think they need. People use Christmas as a way to justify spending "more" or "extra" on items.

This is also another reason we started the "experience" Christmas'. No gifts for the kids at all. We still have fun gifting to other people but we give no gifts to the kids. We go on a trip as a family. We spend time with each other and connect. These are the best Christmas' because there isn't any thoughts about buying gifts for the kids. We truly feel the spirit of Christmas as we buy for others but nothing for us is under the Christmas tree.

On the years that we stay home we don't fall into the trap of buying tons of gifts for each child. Kimball and I observe our children and we buy two or three gifts max that we feel will benefit the child. Again during these years that we are at home the kids are not to tell use what they want for Christmas. This has created such a peace around the season.

So please know, that there are no hard feelings because we don't give gifts to get a gift in return. We give to bring joy to others. This is how we choose to keep the true meaning of Christmas alive in our home. Please Please don't ever think that we expect you to do the same or to view Christmas the way we do.


I want to add that I'm just naturally a gift giver. I love giving gifts. I love doing for others. It gives me great joy. This isn't just gifts of physical things, I love to give of my time and of my service. I have so many weaknesses and I lack in so many areas in my life but I do have charity on my side and I don't want anyone to ever feel guilty about me doing something for them because I'm also doing it for myself. :-)

Sleep

Most people that know me, know that I don't sleep. I get 2 - 4 hours a night for the nights I even go to bed because there are many nights I don't even go to bed at all.

I get lectured about this all the time. Kimball is always on me with his concern about my health. I have friends tell me the that I need to take care of myself. My boys just shake their heads at me because they can't even understand. But I usually just smile and brush it all off.

Well, I'm going to start using a personal trainer starting tonight and I've done some reading and everything says that the body needs at least 7 hours of sleep to "allow" it to respond to exercise and to weight loss. Soooo I've been trying the last week to get more sleep.

Can I just say..........WHAT A JOKE!!!!

I'm more tired than I've ever been. My body hurts. I set the alarm and I sleep right through it and it's next to impossible to get myself out of bed. Really, it's next to impossible. The alarm is set for 5 and I DRAG myself out of bed at close to TEN. Yes you read that right 10. And what's worse, I've put on 4 pounds during this week of getting sleep.

Now I understand how people can complain about being tired. It's because they are sleeping too much?? Is that possible? To sleep so much that it makes you even more tired? What really is the perfect amount of sleep? Does everyone wake up feeling like crap?

I'm trying to decide if I should continue giving "sleep" a chance or if I should stick to my few hours a night routine??

Will you please?

I was sent an email this morning about the Red Envelope Day. You can read about it here: RedEnvelopeDay.com

I plan to do this and maybe, just maybe we can be heard.

"Normal"

It appears that I am a "normal" mom after all because us "normal" moms:

Give our kids chores.
Teaches our kids how to cook and actually make them do it.
Have our kids learn to do laundry and then have them help with it.
We don't always make a home cooked breakfast for the family.
Sometimes we give cereal for dinner.
Sometimes we don't cook at all.
We often sit doing our own thing while our kids do chores all around us.

Us "normal" moms also know that it's so much more work having our kids do chores but we also know that it's teaching them a valuable lesson so we give them those chores anyway.

Thanks to my sweet family and friends for helping me see how NORMAL I am.

An Emotional Beating

It's 2pm and I'm still crying..haven't really stopped since last night after dinner. One of my boys came to apologize to me for thoughts he's had about me!

He said "I've been thinking that I shouldn't have the thoughts I have about you. It's really not your fault that you can't be a normal mom. Normal moms don't expect their kids to do so many chores. "

"What? I'm confused sweetie, what do you mean normal?"

"Well, you work from home and you can't do what a mom is suppose to do."

"Help me understand here."

"I'm sure that if you didn't work at home you would do what normal moms do and not expect their kids to do all the work. You would cook and do the cleaning."

"I cook all the time, I don't get what you're saying. I clean all the time too so again I just don't understand."

"Well *******'s mom doesn't work so she gets up and makes a good breakfast for them, she makes his lunch and they always have dinner sitting on the table at a certain time each night."

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It only got worse.

I heard Kimball telling this child that he shouldn't have said any of those things because I'm always hard enough on myself. This child just doesn't understand why it would bother me, he was simply telling me that he understands and is going to be more "understanding" and not think the things he usually things about me because it's not my fault that I can't be a NORMAL mom.

************************************

This morning I called *******'s mom because we are friends and I asked her if her son had chores. NOPE, he doesn't. He just has to keep his bedroom clean. CRAP, that sure doesn't help my case.

During the summers I never make breakfast but during the school year I use to always get up and make the kids breakfast. This school year was different. I got right back into the same groove of getting up and making them breakfast as I always have but the boy started to complain about it. They told me how they just want cereal. That homemade breakfast makes them sick. So I stopped making it.

Preston and William eat school lunches and Justin, Joshua and Collin all have to bring or buy their lunch. They don't like sandwiches. I've tried. So I buy things that they can take. Microwave type meals that they can heat up at the school. They often forget to take something...I guess this is my fault. I should be putting an actual lunch together for them. Like a "normal" mom. Let's not forget that I use to do that but they complained about what I made.

I always cook dinner. Yes, sometimes I assign a kid to do it cause I don't want to and because I feel they need to learn this skill. And on nights that Kimball and I go out I tell them that it's a YoYo night which means "Your on Your own". That means they can have cup of noodles, cereal, frozen meal, left-overs or Justin can go pick up pizza but I don't plan anything and I'm not there to oversee any of it. I guess a "normal" mom wouldn't have YoYo dinners.

As for cleaning, I feel like I'm always cleaning. I spend at least an hour or two every single morning pick up and cleaning the messes the boys made getting ready for school. I do the laundry (unless I make the mistake of giving it as a ground to one of them).

A "normal" mom doesn't work. What? Where does he get this? Most of his friends mom's don't work, but give me a flippin break, I try to NEVER work when my kids are home. I do my work in the middle of the night to avoid taking away from them. But even if I did work during the day, I'm here for them. If they need something, I'm here.

I'm hard on myself, I don't need any help at knowing that I need to improve on many things. I always think I can do a better job at cleaning, at organizing, at spending more time with each of my kids, at my calling, at being a wife. I actually can't sleep at nights because when I lay down I think of all the things that I could be getting done instead of laying there wasting time sleeping.

My poor son has no idea how bad he's made me feel. He thinks he's being "understanding". For me, I'm destroyed to realize that my kids look at me and see me as lazy.

So I'm left not knowing where to go from here. Do I not give my kids chores? Should they only be in charge of keeping their rooms clean? Will this magically get them to keep their rooms clean?

I can't get myself to stop wondering if my kids think that I love them less because I'm not "normal". Do "normal" moms love their kids more? I know that I love my kids more than I can even express in words, they mean everything to me, but maybe, just maybe they think otherwise.

So what makes me different from a "normal" mom? Do I get rid of chores altogether? Do I start making breakfast in the morning even though they complain? Do I pack their lunches and just smile when they complain about what I made? Do I never have a YoYo dinner night? How do I teach my kids responsibility? How do I make sure that my sons know how to do things before leaving for their Missions? Do "normal" moms not care? So many questions and I don't know how to find the answers. Is praying going to make me "normal"? I know I'm the same I was before I started working at home. I'm the same person. I do the same things (besides staying up all night). I gave chores BEFORE I started working for myself. So have I never been "normal"?

This post probably makes no sense and it probably has a ton of rambling and I'm not going to go back and check. Sorry!! Maybe if I was "normal" I would, but I'm not "normal" I just needed to get it all out. Maybe when I can get myself to be "normal" I'll look back at this post fondly. NOT.

Anyone Interested?

Just for fun...(I got this idea from my sister-in-law...she posted it a couple of weeks ago on her blog)

The first five people to respond to this post will get something made by me! My choice. For you.

This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:

1. I make no guarantees that you will like what I make!

2. What I create will be just for you.

3. It'll be done this year (hopefully sooner than later, but there are still 9 months to the year!!)

4. You will have no clue what it is going to be.

5. I reserve the right to do something extremely strange. :)

You can re-post this on your blog if you wish to spread the joy. The first 5 people to do so and leave a comment telling me you did, will win a FAB-U-LOUS homemade gift by me!

PS- if I don't have your home address (or if you aren't sure if I do or not) just leave me your email address and I will email you to get it!

Sheets

I truly hate folding sheets because I can't ever get them to look good. My pillow cases look great, at times I even iron them up nice and pretty. The flat sheet looks good and is always folded neatly and it's usually pretty uniform in shape but oh my goodness, that dang fitted sheet. No matter how hard I try, the fitted sheet always looks like a wadded up mess. Why can't I get the fitted sheet to fold and look pretty?

Does anyone have a tip or trick on how to do this properly? I'm a grown woman and you'd think I'd be able to fold something and it not look like my three year old did it.